Ian's Lament
by eragon23860
Summary: Faced with a choice - his life, or the life of the enemy he loves - Ian must ask himself the one question he's been avoiding for so long - is he a Kabra or a Cahill?


**Okay.**

**I'll get to the fic in a minute. First, I'm going to ran.**

**So here's my deal – I'm sick of all these Ian/Amy fanfics that go like this:**

**Ian: Forgive me!**

**Amy: No!**

**Ian: FORGIVE ME!**

**Amy: NO!**

**Ian: I love you! Pretty please?!**

**Amy: Weeeelllll... OKAY!**

**(insert smoochy-smoochy romance)**

**Here is a bright pink neon sigh newsflash:**

**THAT. IS. NOT. HOW. IT. WORKS.**

**No more fanfics that go like that, guys! No more "20 years after the 39 Clues, Ian and Natalie/Amy and Dan won, and Ian has come back spontaneously to woo Amy because neither one have moved on since they were 14 and Ian tried to kill Amy."**

**Mmhmm. That's realistic.**

**Logic Flaws there: 1) If a guy tries to kill me I'M NOT TAKING HIS SORRY ASS BACK BECAUSE HE SAID PLEASE! If I do, please smack me upside the head until I regain consciousness (and my sanity)!**

**2) What about this super-duper prize at the end? It has to do with alchemy or whatevs, remember?! Not, "OKAY, now Natalie and Ian/Dan and Amy are super-rich-and famous-and-Ian-is-still-a-sexy-beast"**

**Ugh. End rant.**

**Cue Fic. Somebody get me a cup of Java.**

* * *

Ian was tired. He was sick, and he was exhausted. Plus, he'd gotten mud all over his favorite pair of designer jeans.

But more than anything, he was heartbroken.

It was almost like someone had pumped all the blood out of his body and replaced it with anesthesia as he navigated the metallic hallways of the Lucian stronghold. _There are a lot of things I've put up with in my lifetime, _he thought. _But this? I can't. Not anymore._

Irina.

She'd talked to him, a while back. Secretly. She'd told him that she saw the embers of doubt in his eyes. Explained that she understood. But what Irina hadn't seen, or known, or understood, was who had put those embers there.

A girl.

A beautiful, smart, intelligent girl that really didn't give a crap about his name. She wasn't perfect, but in his eyes, she was nothing short of the best thing that had ever happened to him. He was just a boy to her, and for just a little while, they'd been okay. She'd trusted him, the first ever to do so. And she'd thought he was capable of something better than being just a Kabra.

But he'd proved himself to be nothing more, in the end.

And that's why he had to do this.

"YOU!" her brother said as he walked into the cold, maximum-security prison. He looked furious, with his eyes ablaze and his face contorted like a rabid animal. He was driven to the point of madness by his hatred – hatred for Ian. "GET OUT OF HERE, COBRA!!! YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH, HAVEN'T YOU?!?!? _HUH?!?!"_

Amy just looked at him with heavy eyes and a cold, unfeeling grimace. Like she was terrified of the thoughts in her own head. It was the same face Ian wore.

"Amy - " he said. He tried to ignore Dan's furious rambling. Quiet, annoying child! He cried in his mind. But Dan was trivial here. It was Amy that mattered.

And she just looked away to hide her tears, which threatened to spill over any second if she kept on looking into those beautiful eyes. The same eyes that threatened to...

_To kill me_, she thought.

"Ian," she breathed. "Please. Just go."

"Amy, you have to understand - "

"Understand what?!" she demanded. Ian noticed that she didn't stutter. "That you blew your one chance for me to 'understand' anything?! That you've proved again and again and again that you don't care about me at all!? Ian, your mom is going to kill me tomorrow! OKAY?!? None of this will matter, because I. Will. Be. _Dead."_

That's when Ian pressed the button.

The red lasers that made up the cell door vanished, and the Cahill's were free.

Dan attempted to lurch at Ian, but Ian didn't flinch. His eyes were locked on Amy, who threw her arm out and stopped her brother.

"No," he said assertively. "You're not going to be dead tomorrow. Not if I have anything to do with it."

"Wh - ?!" Amy started.

Ian just shrugged.

"Amy, you have to understand," he waited for her to interrupt. She didn't. "My life has always been for the Lucians. For the Clues. It's always been killing and lying and deceiving, and I've never cared." He paused, and he laughed bitterly at himself. "Not until you."

"M- Me?" she asked quietly. The stutter was back.

"I finally see, Amy," Ian said. "You're a light for me. And, believe it or not, you've helped me more than you can ever know. Which is why I owe you for this. I – I know that I can't make up for what I've done to you, or to your family. But I can help you now, and hope that maybe it'll help my conscience out a little bit." He grinned sheepishly. "Maybe."

"Ian." Amy realized she was crying a little now. "Isabel will know you helped me."

"Yeah," he said. He wasn't looking forward to the beating he would get for that... if she didn't kill him. "Which is why you should go. Now."

Amy didn't move.

"Does it even matter to you?" she demanded. "That your mother is going to kill you?"

"Not really," Ian admitted. "You're the last hope for the entire Cahill family, Amy. You and your brother. And... well, you're my last hope, too." He flashed her that smile that made her knees buckle, even though it was weighed down by his impending doom. "Which is why nothing matters as long as you're safe. So go – through that door down the hall and to the left. You'll stop at a vent. It'll take you out through the back."

Dan moved to leave, but Amy stepped forward.

In a split second, the stuttering girl that could never, ever forget the face of the boy that had betrayed her in Korea leaned up and kissed the lips of the same boy – now her savior.

It was the best kiss she'd ever had. She felt it all over her body, making her head spin. And Ian felt it, too. The same dizzying rush that made his knees buckle and his hands bury themselves in Amy's hair.

It lasted for an eternity.

Then Ian pulled away.

"Go," he whispered, leaning his forehead against Amy's. "I'll be fine. J-Just go, okay?"

Now look who's stuttering, Amy thought smugly to herself. She nodded, and she let Dan drag her down the hall, all the while as her heart seemed as thought it would beat it's way out of her chest.

"Guess your boyfriend paid off," Dan laughed as they turned left.

"Yeah," Amy said, still dazed. "He did... Wasn't he sooo brave? And valiant? And courageous, and sweet, and - "

Dan was almost positive that he was going to throw up.


End file.
